Empowered Women Blog

Paige Parker, author of the ebook, Dating Without Drama will now show the eager readers of Naaree.com the benefits of taking a more rational  and less emotional approach to dating. Ms. Parker will contribute a weekly Dating Dish column for Naaree.com, India’s online magazine for empowered women.

For ten years, Ms. Parker has enjoyed a thriving career as a freelance writer, and found her true calling in advising friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances on how to meet and attract men, communicate effectively with their boyfriends, navigate long-distance relationships, and survive break-ups.

Since launching http://www.DatingWithoutDrama.com in May 2006, Ms. Parker has attracted a loyal fan base of readers around the globe and sold thousands of copies of her ebook, Dating Without Drama: The Essential New Rules to Help You Understand Men and Succeed at the Dating Game. She has now made dating coaching and relationship writing a full-time career.

When you date without drama, you’re allowed to feel and honor all of your emotions just as you normally would; you’ll just learn not to let yourself or your actions be controlled by them, notes Ms. Parker. You’ll begin to make decisions and take action from a place of confidence, not weakness or desperation. The feelings of neediness will disappear. You will get out of your own way and allow yourself to have a successful relationship.

One of the things I really appreciate about Dating Without Drama’ is that it encourages a woman to be independent, do her own thing, feel happy, and maintain her integrity and self-respect. A good man is just part of the mix in a fulfilling life, notes a reader, from Seattle, WA. Another reader testifies that the advice offered is Very empowering. Very practical and way more realistic than The Rules’.

Ms. Parker’s column is a valuable addition to the information we provide at Naaree.com, and strongly connects with our own efforts to empower women have successful relationships, by becoming independent, and living their lives with dignity, states Priya Florence Shah, editor of Naaree.com.

The latest Dating Dish column is now available at http://www.naaree.com

In the midst of a flurry of dotcom launches in India, comes Naaree.com, India’s new portal and online magazine for the new Indian women.

Promoted by Priya Florence Shah, an entrepreneur, online marketing consultant and active blogger, it features inspiring and insightful articles and tips, written by experienced writers with a first-hand knowledge of what the modern Indian woman desires most.

As women, we have many roles to play. We are the nurturers, mothers, wives, lovers, career-women, daughters, friends. When we feel good about ourselves we can give our best to our families, children and careers.

In the process of multi-tasking and giving to others in our lives, stress takes its toll - on us, as well as our families. The new Indian woman is learning to live life on her own terms, and to value her own needs as much as her partner’s. Naaree.com aims to inspire women to transform themselves beyond their wildest dreams.

Naaree.com does not have a feminist agenda. Our goal is solely to help the Indian woman break free of limitations, and disempowering thinking, says Ms. Shah, adding Both, family and society, benefit when a women learns to take care of her own needs, because she is then better able to care for her family and loved ones.

Indian women need more role models to inspire them. Besides a few well-known names like Preity Zinta, Sania Mirza, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw and Indra Nooyi, we know precious little about the thousands of women in our society who have silently and courageously overcome the limitations imposed on them by archaic attitudes and challenging circumstances, states Ms. Shah.

Naaree.com invites you to send in profiles of woman achievers, successful women entrepreneurs and women who have overcome obstacles or demonstrated courage to rise above their circumstances and get where they are today. They will be interviewed and their stories published in a monthly Naaree of the Month feature.

Naaree.com aims to help the new Indian woman get in touch with her own needs, become self-actualised, and achieve balance and harmony in all areas of her life. We want to help women nurture themselves, in body, mind and spirit. Visit us for the content. Stay for the community, invites Ms. Shah.

Check out http://www.naaree.com for the latest articles and updates.

Have you harnessed the power of your womanhood? Are you walking and living in strength and control? If you have been searching for something more in your life, perhaps it is time to become an empowered woman.

LIVE LARGE EVERY DAY

Do you live your life with passion and conviction? Do you wake every day, seeking new possibilities along the horizon?

Make every single day of your life better than the one before. How, you ask? By making the most of each moment, you will experience life in a much greater way than you ever imagined you could.

STOP CRITICISING YOURSELF

Do you condemn yourself at every turn? It is so easy to be cruel to yourself but self condemnation is nothing but harmful to you and your self-esteem.

An empowered woman builds herself up by loving herself and being kind to herself. Harness your inner power by praising yourself for all your hard work. Recognize your strengths and accentuate them, instead of focusing on all the things that you don’t like about yourself.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

Why waste any time doing something that makes you miserable? That is total wasted time and energy that you could expend on doing what you love. Living a miserable existence can never compare to a life full of happiness and joy. Doing what you love opens that door to peace and contentment.

BUILD HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

At the heart of every self-empowered woman, you will find solid, healthy relationships. Without this, you will feel unsteady and anxious. Healthy relationships are built upon a foundation of trust, honor, peace, moral values, and communication.

Can you become an empowered woman? Absolutely! The choice is yours though. Now that you have some of the keys, start living your empowered life today.

Hope Wilbanks is an inspirational author who writes to motivate, inspire and encourage women. Her first non-fiction book, The Self-Empowered Woman will be published early 2007.

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I used to have a car it was a nice car, with a/c, a radio, power windows, the works But alas, it was also a used car (I am part of the reduce, reuse, recycle crowd so I haven’t bought a new car in over 10 years.)

When I was side-swiped by another motorist several months ago, my car was totalled. Not enough value in it to fix it. Thank goodness no one was hurt in the accident, but I was stuck hoofing it. I got a nice sized check from the insurance company so I decided to save for a Prius and start riding the bus. That is where my journey began.

My memories of riding the bus weren’t pleasant. I associated it with school and hot days with loud children chunking spit wads, and, in general, awkward times. I didn’t ride a local bus around town much because, as a kid and even into college, I rode a bike.

I could come and go when and how I wanted, could take fun short-cuts through parking lots and such, and even though I arrived sweaty, I was free. Tired, maybe, but free. That’s just not how I saw the bus. But, being chosen car-less, I decided to give modern mass transit a fair shake.

Little did I know, though, how much other people seemed to have negative ideas about riding the bus. My friends, even my new-age, modern-minded, vegetarian, recyling friends, all looked at me with pity in their eyes when I told them I was riding the bus.

For the first few weeks, they would offer me rides or tell me about some great deal of a car one of their neighbors had for sale, but after awhile that stopped. I felt a real disconnect from the socially conscious, energy efficient nirvana they talked about pursuing and how they acted about the actuality of it when a friend of theirs was living it.

Complete strangers were happy to fill the pity gap, though, as they saw me waiting at a bus stop. They would stop and offer me a ride because they just felt bad that a nice woman like me would be waiting for the bus. What’s that about? Do normal, cleanly dressed, law abiding, working people not ride the bus? The prejudice was obvious.

I even did experiments to test if people would stop and offer me a ride. If I sat with an obvious look of disgust and impatience like I was too good to be there, tons of cars would offer me a ride (which of course, I did not accept for safety sake). If I acted joyous, soaking up the sunshine without a care in the world, they would honk and wave and smile and go about their way. Hmmm.interesting.

So, I ask you. Are you too sexy for the bus? I firmly believe that social stigma and group behaviors are what drives much of what is happening in our world. We all want to belong and be accepted, not condemned or judged. We want to be accepted as a proper member of the tribe.

In your mind, do I have to own a car to fit in? Do you think poorly of the people riding the bus? Are people who afford and use cars somehow held in higher esteem? Is image and status more important to you than energy efficiency and mass transit solutions to urban overcrowding?

I ask these questions of you because I had to ask them of myself as well. What I soon realized was that all of my own preconceptions about mass transit were wrong. I enjoyed the time to read or meditate or visit with the other passengers while I was riding yes, it takes time but it’s a stressless journey.

Many of the riders have been more kind, open minded, and accepting than many of my car-owning acquaintances. They are interesting, varied, and cover a wide gamut of vocations, life roles, and points of view. And almost every one of them tells the bus driver thank you when they leave the bus. To me, that’s great. That’s putting your money where your mouth is at and I admire it.

So, next time you pass a bus, consider what you think of the people inside. Maybe even hop a bus for a day and see what it’s like I challenge you to a month of riding the bus. See what it’s like.

Energy efficient cars are great and I hope to own one someday. But mass transit will only work if we don’t stigmatize the people who participate in it. They are doing their part to reduce greenhouse emissions and reduce inner city traffic and to be good, energy conscious citizens. Those people deserve our respect and thanks, not our pity. Get on board and see for yourself how great it feels.

P.S. They have a/c

Vicki Flaugher, creator of www.SmartWomanGuides.com, is on a mission to nurture and empower the 35-55 year old Coming of Age female audience. Her website is a worldwide community site where Smart Women everywhere can submit articles about their own experiences surrounding topics like social responsibility, aging, health, entrepreneurship, relationships, spirituality, and sex and sensuality (to name a few). You can join in the fun at her blog at speakout.smartwomanguides.com You are invited to become a guest writer on the Smart Woman Guides. If you provide products or services to the 35-55 year old female audience, you are invited to submit your offerings for review and inclusion. Visit the site today and get involved!

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One of the biggest challenges facing many women in business is setting their price and asking for the money.

Charging what you are worth is not as simple as setting a price and sticking to it because, in countless small ways, we can still manage to sabotage our best efforts without even knowing we are doing it.

Sometimes it is our body language that betrays us, other times it’s our choice of words or the way the subject is changed and the question of price is side tracked.

Many of us have been brought up not to talk about money. Money is a taboo subject and because we don’t like to talk about it, we avoid it. But if you want to claim what you deserve, it’s no good saying: I hate asking for money. If you are in business, you have to talk about money and price — and mastering this skill is essential to success.

Price is often the first thing a customer wants to know, and the last thing the seller wants to discuss. If you have something to sell you need to get comfortable selling value.

There are many reasons women don’t charge what they are worth — for some it is a lack of self belief and confidence. Sometimes the cause is ignorance, they simply don’t know their true value or they undervalue what they do.

For others it’s a misguided sense of loyalty to their customer, or a sense of social justice where they feel the need to subsidize their customers at their own expense. People pleasers find it particularly difficult unless they have the sales skills to communicate their true value to the buyer.

Part-time workers and lower paid women have the most to lose by not charging what they are worth. Getting ‘warm fuzzies’ from giving your customers a really good deal does not pay the bills nor does it improve your long term prospects.

If you find you are giving yourself away or discounting heavily on a daily basis, when will you ever earn it back? If you accept less than you are worth today, you will have to earn more tomorrow, so you will never catch up on yourself.

Each time you ask for less than what you know you are worth, you reinforce your own doubts about your self-worth, digging yourself deeper into the rut.

And each time you ask for less than what your customers know you are worth, you teach them to undervalue you. You signal to your customer your availability to be exploited. “Here I am, going cheap! Be my guest — help yourself to the profits.”

When you give your customer an extra dose of time you gift them with a portion of your life, belittling the value you place on your life. Don’t you think that, since time is your life, you should guard it more preciously?

Women are often their own worst enemies, holding themselves back with their own internal doubts and fear of success. When you do decide to charge what you are worth, here are some of the ’scary’ things that might happen to you:

You risk drawing attention to yourself; you might get called greedy.

You may start to earn enough so you can quit struggling — but are you ready for that change in your lifestyle and identity?

You could make people jealous of you. Your success could ostracize your family and friends; they might think you’ve become a different person.

You might have the chance to live your dreams — but dreams are rarely the same in reality. Maybe you’d prefer to live your life wanting, because then at least you keep your dreams.

If you are not already charging what you are worth — ask yourself why aren’t you? Where’s the fear and what’s the pay off? What do you have to gain by charging less than you are worth?

If you do resolve to change remind yourself how much you to have to gain — it is possible you will find the rewards to your self esteem even more personally gratifying than the financial returns.

Jane Francis is the author of Price Yourself Right: A guide to charging what you are worth’ [ISBN 0-595-38601-6] which is available at Barnes & Noble (US), WH Smith (UK) and at amazon.com. You can read more at her blog: www.priceyourselfright.blogspot.com

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We’re all familiar with the label; if you’re an assertive, confident, intelligent and independent woman, you are often called a b….

Whether you have a high profile career or are a stay-at-home mom, the term still gets attached to women who posses these qualities no matter how nice we are. Men who posses the same qualities don’t seem to have any negative connotations applied to them, but instead are respected and admired - even when they act like ruthless jerks!

In the work place and in relationships, if women show too much femininity we can be seen as weak, but if we are strong and confident we are labeled controlling bitches. I feel we should be allowed to express our femininity while also showing confidence in ourselves and our capabilities without being assaulted by labels.

As single women and moms we all manage to run our lives independent of a man. Add confidence, career success, and a positive, outgoing personality and that becomes a threat to anyone who is the least bit insecure about themselves men and women alike.

Confidence is intimidating to those who don’t have it, and they feel they can attain it by taking you down. If someone feels they can’t compare, (and being insecure, they do compare) they will try to knock you down to feel better about themselves. This is a key reason why we end up being labeled a b….

Being confident further empowers our independence as women and enables us to be successful in many areas of our lives. For many, the higher we rise, the further these people would like to see us fall.

Somehow, being called a bitch undermines our success and shakes us up because we CARE! We don’t want to be cast negatively, but instead be recognized and appreciated for all of our qualities and capabilities. Sometimes we feel we need to do damage control when we’ve been labeled a b…, so we become overly sweet to try to reverse it. If you’re someone who can relate to this, then you also know this never works.

How does all this play out in a relationship? Being a confident and independent woman myself, I can tell you what I’ve learned. I’ve known, dated, and been in relationships with men who say they are very attracted to a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, and I believe they are.

But when these men are in a relationship with that kind of woman and aren’t strong and confident enough themselves, they start trying to knock us down because they’re intimidated by us. They start to feel inadequate and then blame us for making them feel that way, and the relationship fails. This happens no matter how affirming you are of him if he knows he’s not measuring up to his own standards regardless of what you think and say otherwise, you are the scapegoat for all that is wrong in the world!

This independent woman/b…. conundrum is not specific to the workplace or relationships, it’s everywhere; so what can we do about it? Can we change it, or somehow learn to live with it? Can we beat the system by being feminine and strong, capable and confident, independent and successful? If we possess confidence and are independent, should we embrace it or try to conceal it?

Mindy Erickson is a blog owner and single mom of 4 children dedicated to the support of single mothers. Single mom’s have unique issues that Mindy addresses.

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Beauty and a sexy femininity tend to give a woman confidence, more power, and greater control in finding love and marriage with a Good Man. Isn’t this obvious to you? Don’t you sense how beauty and a sexy femininity are your allies, your friends in seeking the happiness of love and marriage to a Good Man?

By making yourself beautiful, sexy, and feminine for potential Good Men, you are only being submissive or surrendering to the realities of men and women and to what can help you attract those Good Men to you. In fact, rather than making you submissive, surrendering to the realities empowers you. Surrender to the realities of what men are:

* Men are visual and love beauty in a woman.
* Men are sexual and love sexiness in a woman.
* Men are masculine and love femininity in a woman.

The journey of finding and marrying a man begins right here: just surrender to those realities. The whole process of finding and marrying a man and then keeping your marriage alive and happy should be a fun experience. (Why do people think that it is so difficult to find a man, not just any man, but Mr. Right, your Prince Charming, a near-perfect-for-you man, a husband, your Good Man?) Do you want to have an enjoyable and exciting time or a difficult time finding your man? It depends on your attitude. I suggest we go on a fun and exciting even outrageous journey to attract appropriate men and then to choose and to keep your one Good Man for life.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

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When I first started working from home, I noticed some challenges in feeling as sexy as often as I wanted to be. My husband commuted to an office, and nobody else saw me except for my three cats. I sat in front of my computer wearing my “stretchies” all day until my husband sent me an instant message saying he was on his way home.

I’d quickly hit the shower, wash and blow dry my hair, throw on some make-up, and pick out a decent outfit. I then slipped on some “lounge” music, poured myself a glass of wine, and tried to turn off all thoughts of work in my head to get in the mood to be “sexy wife.”

Stay-at-home moms can probably all relate to me. But, instead of human children, I have 3 cat children who were also clamoring for my husband’s attention when he arrived home.

I sometimes long for the “good old days” when I used to commute to a separate office, interact with people, and feel more like part of the human race. Back then I couldn’t wait to get home, change into something comfortable, and just absorb the feeling of hearth and home. Before I fell asleep that is. Because with a long commute on top of the stress of interacting with other people and a day’s work, there wasn’t much energy left at the end of the day.

So, what are the secrets to feeling sexy when you stay at home all day?

Shower and get dressed in the morning just as you would if you were commuting to an onsite office.

Keep your office separate from the rest of the house, if you can. That way, you can close the door, leaving the office behind you.

Arrange to get out in public-either go to a coffee shop, cafe, book store or other public place where you can be around people and work at your laptop, make edits to your printouts, problem solve in your notebook or some other form of working on the go.

Plan time for exercise. When we sit at our computers all day, we sometimes forget to do something physical. We stay in our heads and we need to make that transition-not only for our bodies but for our minds, too.

Pamper yourself or splurge in some way. Perhaps every quarter, plan a massage, or once or twice a month get a manicure and/or pedicure. It may seem self-indulgent or costly or selfish, but it’s worth it. You’ll feel better and be more productive and more of a joy to be around.

If you’re a mother, offer to exchange babysitting services with another mother to give each other some much-needed time away or meet other mothers in a location away from the house.

If you’re a professional, join a professional organization with meetings scheduled for a weekday. It’ll put you in more immediate touch with the business world and give you a much-needed mental lift.

My circumstances have changed somewhat since I first starting working from home. My husband has joined me in our home office, as a 4-day-per-week telecommuter, and we have similar issues-the temptation to stay in our PJs all day. The previous steps have become even more important-showering and getting dressed early in the day, and taking some time to get out by myself.

That’s a situation many retirees can relate to. After being apart 9 to 5, five days a week for most of their married life, they’ve had to learn to adjust to being at home together. My in-laws’ trick was to plan one day a week to do separate activities. My father-in-law would take the train into Boston, visit book stores, the library, and other attractions, and my mother-in-law would do whatever she was interested in doing: shopping or visiting friends.

And so now it’s time to take my own advice: take a shower, get dressed, and go out for a walk.

Kathy Holmes writes women’s fiction with romantic comedy elements while raising an awareness for Women over 40 and Fatherless Daughters.

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The Great Goddess may be an ancient echo in the collective unconscious of the human race, but her legacy still lives in every woman. Today’s woman is rediscovering her inherent female strengths and creating a new model of feminine power: the Modern Goddess.

The 20th century ushered in the modern era of more freedom and more rights for women. Another big push came in the 1960’s and 1970’s with the Women’s Liberation movement, which helped to open up more opportunities for women to work in previously male-dominated fields. We focused so intently on getting money and position and things that we lost sight of what it really means to be female. We forgot that men are meant to serve us. We forgot how to be gracious and serene. That is why, now that we have entered the 21st century and the next millennium, it’s time for us to take another leap forward and become proud examples of the truly Modern Goddess. Cultivating the proper Goddess attitude naturally attracts good into your life. Struggle becomes a thing of the past. With the right attitude you can harness the flow of good that is your god-given right and ride it gracefully toward your desires.

The Four Pillars

The Four Pillars of the Modern Goddess are the foundation on which your new life is built. As you create and cultivate the Four Pillars in yourself, your life begins to move and change in magical and mysterious ways. To be a woman is to be an earthbound vessel for the unseen power that is the true nature of our reality. That power is meant to be honored and cherished, as is every woman on this planet. The Four Pillars give us some simple guidelines for remembering how beautiful and special each one of us is.

Pillar I: Never Rush.

A Goddess has time for everything that is important to her. She stays calm and relaxed. If you are stressed out and harried, stop and take a deep breath. You always have all the time you need if you believe you do. Learn how to say no. Don’t over-commit yourself. Live life at your own pace.

Pillar II: Never Worry.

A Goddess knows that she always has everything she needs. Worry is needlessly borrowing trouble from the future. She knows that things always have a way of working themselves out if we allow them to. She has a deep and abiding faith that God is her source and she always has enough.

Pillar III: Receive Graciously.

A Goddess graciously receives all gifts and compliments with a simple, thank you. She never belittles or criticizes herself or her accomplishments. When someone wants to give you something or help you, accept the gift with a smile. A Goddess always remembers that allowing men to assist and serve her is the gift she gives to them.

Pillar IV: Appreciate Continually.

Accept and appreciate all the good that comes to you, especially the little things. Whatever you appreciate increases. Make it a habit to say, how usual! whenever something good happens to you. The more you express your gratitude, the more good the universe sends your way.

How Usual

Most people react to something good happening to them as an out- of-the-ordinary event. How often have you said, I don’t believe it! or, that’s amazing! when you receive a delightful surprise. Words and thoughts have great power, so if your words convey to the universe that this is an unusual occurrence, it will comply. Your subconscious will make sure that it’s amazing that anything good ever happens to you.

In our house we have adopted a more positive way of responding. My husband and I love to exclaim (often in unison), how usual! whenever something good happens to either of us whether it is a parking spot, a good news phone call, or a nice fat check in the mail. Receiving good is how usual in our life because we are in the habit of mentally creating it. Why not get into the how usual! habit yourself. Let the universe know that receiving good is a regular, everyday thing for you, too. How usual!

Today these Four Pillars are the foundation of my everyday life. They are all ingrained in me as habits of thinking and action. Not only do they make daily living a joy, they also make it possible to attract a great man who thinks the same way. It should be no surprise to you that my husband has these very same habits and beliefs. You, too, can attract wonderful people and good things into your life by adopting the Four Pillars as your own.

Barbara Wright Abernathy helps take-charge women become as successful at love as they are at work. She’s the author of Venus On Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them. Get your FREE report 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make While Dating

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We still live in a society that promotes the notion that it is normal for a man to desire many women and yet normal for a woman to desire only one man. Our beliefs about male and female behavior may have been helpful in the past, but today they are doing much more harm than good.

As a society we need to stop perpetuating the myth that females are naturally monogamous because this erroneous belief keeps women from taking responsibility when they do cheat. Unfortunately, when women cheat they typically put the blame on their husbands.

Most of the prevailing beliefs we hold about women were created and taught to control the sexual behavior of females in an effort to ease paternity insecurity in males. When females give birth they know the children they give birth to are biologically theirs. Males on the other hand, prior to DNA testing, had to rely on the faithfulness of their partners; which is the reason a sexual double-standard emerged. However, over time the sexual double-standard gave way to a false belief that females were in fact naturally monogamous. Today, it is no longer necessary to continue teaching this false belief because DNA testing allows males to have the same certainty about paternity as females.

Today, women initiate approximately 70 - 75% of all divorces. Due to our false beliefs, women lack adequate knowledge about their natural sexual impulses; as a result, they are much more likely than men to leave their marriages due to their sexual attractions and affairs. Although women typically pursue separations and divorces under the guise of searching for self the real reason is often another man. It’s not uncommon for women to be happily married prior to their affairs; it’s also not uncommon for men to be divorced by their wives without ever knowing about their wives’ extramarital relationships.

For many years now, women have been knowingly or unknowingly performing a balancing act - trying to attain equal rights, while at the same time, trying to maintain their special rights. Interestingly enough, most women are still not happy. Women continue to feel they get the short end of the stick. Women still do not feel as though they have equal rights, much less special rights, why? Because the sexual double standard still exists in our culture; but ironically, women’s final right to claim is the root from which their oppression stemmed.

However, it is no longer men who oppress women - it is women. Women have not yet decided whether they want to trade their image and all the special treatment that it affords them, for the public sexual freedom which is afforded to males. As a result, one of the biggest problems in relationships today, is due to the fact that women are finding it increasingly more difficult to maintain their image, now that their survival is no longer contingent upon it.

It is only by doing away with the sexual double standard that females will finally achieve the equality they have so long sought after. However, in doing so, they will have to give up one of their special rights - they will no longer be able to blame males for their sexual indiscretions and their lack of self control.

Michelle Langley is the author of Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say, I’m Not Happy To read an excerpt from Women’s Infidelity visit http://womensinfidelity.com/