Empowered Women Blog

Paige Parker, author of the ebook, Dating Without Drama will now show the eager readers of Naaree.com the benefits of taking a more rational  and less emotional approach to dating. Ms. Parker will contribute a weekly Dating Dish column for Naaree.com, India’s online magazine for empowered women.

For ten years, Ms. Parker has enjoyed a thriving career as a freelance writer, and found her true calling in advising friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances on how to meet and attract men, communicate effectively with their boyfriends, navigate long-distance relationships, and survive break-ups.

Since launching http://www.DatingWithoutDrama.com in May 2006, Ms. Parker has attracted a loyal fan base of readers around the globe and sold thousands of copies of her ebook, Dating Without Drama: The Essential New Rules to Help You Understand Men and Succeed at the Dating Game. She has now made dating coaching and relationship writing a full-time career.

When you date without drama, you’re allowed to feel and honor all of your emotions just as you normally would; you’ll just learn not to let yourself or your actions be controlled by them, notes Ms. Parker. You’ll begin to make decisions and take action from a place of confidence, not weakness or desperation. The feelings of neediness will disappear. You will get out of your own way and allow yourself to have a successful relationship.

One of the things I really appreciate about Dating Without Drama’ is that it encourages a woman to be independent, do her own thing, feel happy, and maintain her integrity and self-respect. A good man is just part of the mix in a fulfilling life, notes a reader, from Seattle, WA. Another reader testifies that the advice offered is Very empowering. Very practical and way more realistic than The Rules’.

Ms. Parker’s column is a valuable addition to the information we provide at Naaree.com, and strongly connects with our own efforts to empower women have successful relationships, by becoming independent, and living their lives with dignity, states Priya Florence Shah, editor of Naaree.com.

The latest Dating Dish column is now available at http://www.naaree.com

Beauty and a sexy femininity tend to give a woman confidence, more power, and greater control in finding love and marriage with a Good Man. Isn’t this obvious to you? Don’t you sense how beauty and a sexy femininity are your allies, your friends in seeking the happiness of love and marriage to a Good Man?

By making yourself beautiful, sexy, and feminine for potential Good Men, you are only being submissive or surrendering to the realities of men and women and to what can help you attract those Good Men to you. In fact, rather than making you submissive, surrendering to the realities empowers you. Surrender to the realities of what men are:

* Men are visual and love beauty in a woman.
* Men are sexual and love sexiness in a woman.
* Men are masculine and love femininity in a woman.

The journey of finding and marrying a man begins right here: just surrender to those realities. The whole process of finding and marrying a man and then keeping your marriage alive and happy should be a fun experience. (Why do people think that it is so difficult to find a man, not just any man, but Mr. Right, your Prince Charming, a near-perfect-for-you man, a husband, your Good Man?) Do you want to have an enjoyable and exciting time or a difficult time finding your man? It depends on your attitude. I suggest we go on a fun and exciting even outrageous journey to attract appropriate men and then to choose and to keep your one Good Man for life.

Py Kim Conant, Sex Secrets of an American Geisha: How to Attract, Satisfy, and Keep Your Man, Hunter House, October 28, 2006. Looking for relationship, dating and sex tips? Visit Py’s website at http://www.AmericanGeishaHouse.com

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We still live in a society that promotes the notion that it is normal for a man to desire many women and yet normal for a woman to desire only one man. Our beliefs about male and female behavior may have been helpful in the past, but today they are doing much more harm than good.

As a society we need to stop perpetuating the myth that females are naturally monogamous because this erroneous belief keeps women from taking responsibility when they do cheat. Unfortunately, when women cheat they typically put the blame on their husbands.

Most of the prevailing beliefs we hold about women were created and taught to control the sexual behavior of females in an effort to ease paternity insecurity in males. When females give birth they know the children they give birth to are biologically theirs. Males on the other hand, prior to DNA testing, had to rely on the faithfulness of their partners; which is the reason a sexual double-standard emerged. However, over time the sexual double-standard gave way to a false belief that females were in fact naturally monogamous. Today, it is no longer necessary to continue teaching this false belief because DNA testing allows males to have the same certainty about paternity as females.

Today, women initiate approximately 70 - 75% of all divorces. Due to our false beliefs, women lack adequate knowledge about their natural sexual impulses; as a result, they are much more likely than men to leave their marriages due to their sexual attractions and affairs. Although women typically pursue separations and divorces under the guise of searching for self the real reason is often another man. It’s not uncommon for women to be happily married prior to their affairs; it’s also not uncommon for men to be divorced by their wives without ever knowing about their wives’ extramarital relationships.

For many years now, women have been knowingly or unknowingly performing a balancing act - trying to attain equal rights, while at the same time, trying to maintain their special rights. Interestingly enough, most women are still not happy. Women continue to feel they get the short end of the stick. Women still do not feel as though they have equal rights, much less special rights, why? Because the sexual double standard still exists in our culture; but ironically, women’s final right to claim is the root from which their oppression stemmed.

However, it is no longer men who oppress women - it is women. Women have not yet decided whether they want to trade their image and all the special treatment that it affords them, for the public sexual freedom which is afforded to males. As a result, one of the biggest problems in relationships today, is due to the fact that women are finding it increasingly more difficult to maintain their image, now that their survival is no longer contingent upon it.

It is only by doing away with the sexual double standard that females will finally achieve the equality they have so long sought after. However, in doing so, they will have to give up one of their special rights - they will no longer be able to blame males for their sexual indiscretions and their lack of self control.

Michelle Langley is the author of Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When They Say, I’m Not Happy To read an excerpt from Women’s Infidelity visit http://womensinfidelity.com/

One of my clients, whose boyfriend recently broke up with her, asked me the following question…”I think I still love him, but is this love or just emotional dependency?

When it feels as if you can’t live without the other person, it is emotional dependency. The part of you that is “in love” is really a child or adolescent who is needy for love because you are not giving love to yourself or to others. There is an emptiness inside that you expect someone else to fill, because you are not taking responsibility for your own feelings of self-worth. You are attaching your worth to another’s love, which is why you can’t live without that person.

When you fall in love as a loving adult instead of as a wounded, needy child or adolescent, your need for the relationship is totally different. As a loving adult, you have learned how to fill yourself with love and define your own worth. Instead of needing someone to fill you and make you feel lovable and worthy, you already feel worthy and full of love.

You experience this inner fullness because you have learned how to take full responsibility for your own feelings and needs, and you have learned to fill yourself with love. This fullness overflows and you want to share this love with another person, another loving adult who is also filled with love. Your desire is to share love rather than to get love.

The kind of person you will pick will be totally different when a loving adult is choosing than when your wounded self is choosing. The people we pick have a similar level of woundedness and a similar level of emotional health.

Obviously, the more you have done your inner work to connect with Divine Love and bring that love within to take loving care of yourself, the more you will be attracted to someone also does this.

When you pick from your wounded self (emotional dependency), you will pick someone whom you believe wants the job of filling you up. The problem is that the other person may be attempting to fill you up in the hopes that you will also fill him up.

Two people who each want to get love rather than share love will eventually find themselves very disappointed with each other. They will each blame the other for not loving them in the way they want to be loved.

When relationships break up, it is often because one or both partners are not taking responsibility for their own feelings and self-worth and are blaming the other for their resulting unhappiness.

If you are so attached to someone that you feel you can’t live without that person, try learning to give to yourself and others what it is you want from this person. Your job is to become the person to yourself that you want the other person to be. Then you will be able to be “in love” rather than “in need.”

You will be able to love another person for who he is rather than for what this person can do for you. Instead of needing to get love, you can give love from the heart for the joy of it and feel filled in the giving.

Copyright Margaret Paul, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a free Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.

Lovemaking isn’t just for slender women. But large women who have body image issues often have problems in relationships because they think that men want a woman with a perfect body.

Although a man isn’t going to pass up the chance to look at such a woman, the perfect body is not at the top of a man’s want list. You don’t have to have that perfect body if you want to enjoy great lovemaking with your man.

Here’s what men really want from their women:

–Passion. Men love passionate women. A lusty interest in intimacy will wow a man every time. A blasé attitude isn’t sexy. Powerful positive emotions of love and desire are. These emotions are far more important that the packaging in which the emotions come. Men want to be desired and loved. Letting them know that you’re passionate about them will turn them on every time and pave the way for great lovemaking.

–Enthusiasm. Men want women to be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is upbeat energy, and upbeat energy is electric. Bring enthusiasm into the bedroom and watch the sparks fly. Enthusiasm improve your lovemaking almost instantly

–Caring. Men need their women to be caring. A man’s ego really can’t handle much criticism. Criticism, in fact, is a great way to kill ardor.

A woman who is working hard to be perfect herself tends to exact the same standards from her lover. That kind of pressure is a definite turn-off. Nurture your partner with the kind of caring you’d like to receive yourself and you’ll be amazed at the kind of gentle response you’ll get in return during lovemaking.

–Kindness. Men want kindness and patience. When women go on rigid diets, they tend to get a little, ah, witchy. Men don’t like this.

Men want women to cut them some slack and treat them with the same respect that we often save for our best friends. A man who is respected and treated kindly will usually be a happy, virile man who is wonderful at lovemaking.

–Playfulness. Man want women to be playful and have a sense of erotic adventure. Who wants a woman who’s all serious and hung up on getting things just right? Intimacy shouldn’t be about looking good. It’s about having fun. A woman who is willing to experiment and get silly in bed will enjoy incredible lovemaking.

Women think that men don’t want intimacy. This isn’t true. Men want it as much as women do. They just don’t like to talk about it. If you want to be close to your man, stop focusing on creating the perfect body and create the perfect atmosphere for lovemaking. he great thing about giving your man what he wants is that it will get you what you want closeness and romance and awesome lovemaking.

Wouldn’t you rather be making love than counting calories or running on a treadmill? If you’re a large women who wants to be beautiful and sexy AND have great sex without having to diet and exercise, A Big Beautiful Woman’s Guide To Great Sex-The Caramel Sutra is the e-book for you.

Body image is a HUGE (excuse the pun) problem with women in the U.S. A recent Glamour Magazine survey found that 75% of women ages 18-35 believe they are fat. Even though only 60 percent actually are overweight, they have a skewed body image. The vast majority of women don’t see themselves as slender and attractive.

According to the 2000 census, the female population of the United States is over 140 million. This means over 84 million women in our country are overweight. Nearly 40 million women are medically obese. If thin women feel lousy about themselves, you know how large women feel. They have even more serious body image issues.

Researchers at Penn State who surveyed women about their sexual satisfaction found that the less attractive a woman felt, the less sexual desire and activity she experienced. Since women who are overweight are conditioned by society’s pervasive thin is beautiful message, the combination of these statistics suggest that, at the very least, 40 million women, and quite possibly, 84 million women aren’t having the kind of love life they want to have, and it’s because of their poor body image.

In Overcoming Fear of Fat, Laura S. Brown and Esther D. Rothblum suggest that the link in our society’s mindset of fat with being out-of-control and with laziness and ugliness creates in a woman an energy-draining self-hatred. It’s no wonder, then, that in a McCall’s Magazine phone poll, 40 percent of 350 participating women reported they were less interested in sex when they felt overweight.

In her article, Factors in the Sexual Satisfaction of Obese Women in Relationships, published in the January 15, 2002 issue of Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, Wilka Woodward Areton includes this quote offered by an overweight woman: when I go up a few pounds, I can’t enjoy myself in bed. I’m afraid to let my belly out. I feel embarrassed to make any noise, and I’m less relaxed about being touched.

This woman undoubtedly speaks for millions of women when she says that she feels too heavy to be attractive. She goes on to confirm how her poor body image intrudes into intimate moments: I know in my heart I should be thinner. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in thinking about it that I can’t really enjoy Rob touching or even wanting me.

The message that women must be thin in order to be attractive is what drives women to diet. Unfortunately, the dieting, even when successful, isn’t enough to change a woman’s body image enough to enjoy sexual satisfaction.

In a study of 60 obese women who dieted successfully, 47 percent of the participants reported that they were disappointed because their weight loss didn’t satisfy them. They lost weight, and still felt awful about themselves. They still didn’t feel sexy.

If big women (and even so-called normal-sized women) are to enjoy their intimate relationships, they need to address their body image. Learning to accept yourself and enjoy the pleasure in your life is the key to changing the way you think about your body.

When you learn ways to please a lover and take proactive steps to leave old body perceptions behind, you can change your love life. A changed love life is a wonderful way to completely transform a bad body image.

Wouldn’t you rather be making love than counting calories or running on a treadmill? If you’re a large women who wants to be beautiful and sexy AND have great sex without having to diet and exercise, A Big Beautiful Woman’s Guide To Great Sex-The Caramel Sutra is the e-book for you.

There is no greater feeling in the world than to be genuinely likeable or loved by the people that you love. There isn’t a pill that can comfort or console you when you need a shoulder to cry on, there isn’t a drink you can mix that will give you the compassion you need when you are deeply saddened, nothing beats a genuine friend.

But not everyone is lucky enough to have a friend. If you’re one of the many people who are struggling with loneliness, it’s absolutely CRITICAL you read this article.

Why? Simply because loneliness can quickly lead to depression if you don’t do something about it TODAY.

Have you ever thought about WHY you’re feeling lonely?

Perhaps you gave up all your friends for a relationship with someone you THOUGHT was Mr. or Mrs. Right. And after that relationship ended, you went back to your friends but they’ve since moved on with their lives and gave you the cold shoulder.

Or maybe you’ve moved to another city, state or even country and you’re looking to meet new friends, but can’t seem to find anyone you can really connect with.

Perhaps you got married only to find that you grew apart from your old friends as you became engrossed in your own life, but now you’re looking to re-connect with someone?

Regardless of what your current situation is, good friends are simply not as easy to find as they were when you were younger.

As an adult who leads a busy life, it’s easier than you might think for loneliness to creep up on you.

Between taking care of little ones, working, taking care of household matters and caring for your spouse, it’s difficult to find the time for friends when you’re so exhausted by the end of the day.

We all need someone to be there to listen to our thoughts and interests without judgment. Someone preferably OUTSIDE our immediate family.

So what’s the cure for loneliness?

There are many people out there that could use your friendship. Take a look at these common mistakes people make in friendships so you can focus on finding more friends and people around you to love and have good times with over the course of a lifetime:

1. Are You Listeningor Waiting For Your Turn To Talk?

If people have betrayed you in the past, and you were NOT raised in a home where you were supported, encouraged and taught valuable life lessons, you may be carrying around some very destructive belief systems that could prevent you from being a TRUE friend to someone.

If your parents put their own needs ahead of anyone else’s, there’s a good chance you unknowingly picked up this value also. In a friendship, this may translate to the other person as selfishness on your part.

Friendship, like any other relationship requires SELF SACRIFICE. An example of self sacrifice might be listening to your friend’s daily struggleseven if you have a headache yourself and aren’t interested in what they’re saying at all.

If you expect your friend to be there to listen to YOUR daily struggles, be sure you’re always willing to listen when THEY need a shoulder to cry on.

Have you ever been in a conversation where you can just tell the other person is not only NOT listening to you, but in factjust waiting for their turn to talk? THOSE people were NOT raised to put others’ needs ahead of their own and as a result, there’s a pretty good chance THEY don’t have too many people who’d consider them as a good friend.

Relationships are not ALL about self sacrifice however, it’s important to give a little and take a little�. Some people, however, take self sacrifice to the EXTREME. Many people refer to these as people pleasers which brings me to the next mistake

2. Don’t Let Your Need for Acceptance Dominate Your Friendships

I used to be guilty of this. Since I was not raised in a home where I was supported and encouraged, as an adult, I was desperately seeking the approval of others.

People, who I THOUGHT were my friends used to ask favors of me ALL THE TIME. I of course, willingly went along with their request because I was afraid if I said no, they’d get mad or not want to be my friend anymore.

Let me tell youthis was a BIG MISTAKE.

While there are many genuine, sincere people in this world, there are just as many people who will take advantage of youIF you let them.

So where do you draw the line?

I’m certainly not telling you to avoid anyone who asks you for a favor, but instead filter out those people who are NEVER there for youwhen YOU are ALWAYS there for them.

That’s one of the easiest ways to recognize these people. If saying no without feeling guilty is something you often struggle with, you can use my step-by-step solution in Softhearted Woman Hard World that will help you say no to others so you can have more time to yourself and your loved ones. Want a sneak peek inside Softhearted Woman Hard World? You can download the first chapter here or go here to learn more about the book.

3. Are YOU Responsible For Your Loneliness?

Maybe you’re feeling lonely because you’re not exactly sure how to be a true friend to someone. If people have hurt or rejected you in the past, you may have a fear of being rejected by someone who could potentially be your friend.

So in an effort to avoid that pain, you reject your friend before they reject YOU. You may be familiar with this concept as it relates to dating, but it is also true in friendships.

You may not out-right reject this person; but you might find excuses as to why you don’t want to be friends with them. If you find yourself doing this, STOP and ask yourself WHY am I rejecting this person?

If you don’t give anyone a chance, it’s very possible you could turn someone away who might otherwise become your life-long friend.

So there you have it. These 3 tips will help you avoid making the common mistakes that trap you in this rut, otherwise known as loneliness. Friends can be one of life’s greatest gifts. Don’t let your destructive beliefs from your past get in the way of your friendships. To earn the title of FRIEND, all you need to dois be one.

If You’ve Ever Wanted To Get Rid of Those Painful Feelings and Stop Feeling Alone, Lost and Hopeless, Larry Bilotta’s FREE 7-day email course shows you how to quickly and easily eliminate your negative thoughts, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself.

Let’s face it. Overcoming procrastination can be a challenge if you don’t know what’s causing it in the first place. These 4 simple steps will help you find the REAL cause of procrastination making overcoming procrastination a breeze. You’ll soon be able to achieve those daunting tasks and in some cases, even look forward to doing them!

STEP 1: Identify the REAL Cause of Your Procrastination

The first step is finding out what’s preventing you from overcoming procrastination in the first place. People often use the word as if �procrastination’ itself is the problem. For example, “You know, I really have a problem with procrastination.” But procrastination itself is NOT the problem - it is only the symptom.

Start by picking a task you know you should do, but have put off for a long time. Is this something you dread doing because you’re not good at it?

For example, I had a friend whose son always turned his homework in late. He constantly put it off until the very last minute - even after being penalized, still nothing changed.

The boy, as it turned out, was afraid of getting a bad grade on his homework. Without even thinking about it, he would put it off until the pain of turning it in late became greater than his fear of getting a bad grade.

In his mind, he was actually protecting himself from a potentially painful situation. The apparent reason for his procrastination was � I’m too busy with my after-school projects.� The REAL reason for his procrastination � I’m afraid I might fail.�

To find the source of YOUR procrastination, ask yourself the following questions

1) Am I putting it off because I’m just not good at it?

2) Am I putting it off because I’m afraid I might fail or because I’m afraid of what might happen?

STEP 2: Create an Action Plan that’s In Line With Your Strengths

After you discover the real reason for your procrastination, the next step is finding a way to get the job done that’s in line with something you LIKE to do.

Let’s say you really like to be with people, but you have a term paper that you must get done. The TRUTH is that you don’t want to write the paper because you have to do it by yourself. The problem is that your strength is being with people but this paper forces you to work alone.

The solution? Try inviting a friend over to help you. (This friend must have your best interest in mind). They won’t write your paper for you, but you can bounce ideas off of them. This solution would make writing a paper much more appealing to you when you know you won’t have to “go it alone.” You can do this with any task you need to get done, but have put off in the past because it was not in line with one of your strengths.

STEP 3: Fear of Failure � One of the Leading Causes of Procrastination

One big reason that many people struggle with overcoming procrastination is because they’re afraid that they might fail. So what�s REALLY driving this fear of failure? In most cases, it’s because of that little voice inside your head� that tells you you’re never good enough.

The voice goes like this: I know I need to look for a new job, but I’m so afraid of interviews. What if I say something stupid? I’ll just wait till next week when there are more jobs in the paper and I can get someone to write a better resume.�

Do you see how that little voice is creating the thoughts that cause procrastination? You start with good intentions, but they quickly get shot down by that little voice inside your head”.

STEP 4: How to STOP Making Excuses and START Getting Things Done

The next step is overcoming that “little voice” and getting rid of it the moment it begins to invent excuses that cause you to procrastinate. Keep reading to find out about a FREE 7-day email course that shows you exactly how to do this.

Believe me. Once you start using these 4 simple steps, overcoming procrastination will no longer be an issue for you. Put these steps to the test right away. Take the first, most CRITICAL step in overcoming your procrastination by eliminating the excuse maker�� (the little voice inside your head.�). I guarantee, once you know how to eliminate your negative thoughts the moment they appear, your unproductive days will be over.

If You’ve Ever Wanted To Get Rid of Those Painful Feelings and Stop Feeling Alone, Lost and Hopeless, Larry Bilotta’s FREE 7-day email course shows you how to quickly and easily eliminate your negative thoughts, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself.

Let me tell you a story that will PROVE to you, without a doubt, that an event has no meaning…

A farmer lived with his son raising horses and vegetables in the days of ancient China. One day the son broke his leg.

The townspeople expressed their sadness by saying “You must be very distressed about your son’s leg, for now you must work the farm alone.”

The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”

As the son’s leg was healing, the Emperor declared war and drafted all the young men for battle, but the farmer’s son was rejected because of his broken leg.

The townspeople heard about this and said to the farmer, “You must be very happy about your son’s condition for it saved him from going to war!”

The farmer replied, “Maybe, maybe not.”

As the son limped around the farm doing his chores, he accidentally left the gate open one night and all 100 horses ran away.

The next day, townspeople came out and said to the farmer, “It is so sad that you lost all your livestock. Now you will make very little money.”

The farmer replied “Maybe, maybe not.”

News came to the farmer that the war was over and the Emperor decided to hold a lottery and redistribute all the livestock.

The farmer drew the long straw and received 500 head of horses. The town’s people rallied around him and said, “You must be very happy now that you have prospered so richly!”

…and what did the farmer say?

The farmer knows something that few people will ever understand. Events themselves have no meaning except the meaning you give them.

The Chinese farmer decided that he would not let his emotions carry him high or low.

He simply controlled what he could, stayed calm and let events take their course.

He did not let events control him because he knew a secret: Events have no meaning until they are “inside you”.

With this idea in mind, hopefully you will be a little more reluctant to label any event that takes place as being good or bad.

Approach events as the Chinese farmer does: “Maybe, maybe not.”

======================================

Everything That Happens Around you is an EVENT.

These Events Have No Meaning, UNTIL…

======================================

Most people quickly label events as either being “good” or “bad” but events themselves do not have a negative or positive meaning.

Let me explain…

Let’s say that an unpopular uncle shows up at your annual family reunion.

You might hear family members say “Oh no…here comes Uncle Eddy. You know what that means!”

These family members are acting as if Uncle Eddy is a bad event, regardless of Eddy’s current situation.

They are convinced that since Eddy was connected to a BAD event in the past, he must be BAD today.

If this were true, the stock market would not require sellers to tell buyers this statement: “Past performance is no guarantee of future returns.”

If someone says the words “PLANE CRASH” we immediately think it is a negative event, but what if the plane was unmanned and built to test a device that could save people’s lives?

Then we think of it as a GOOD event.

It is your emotional reaction to an event that makes it good or bad, not the event itself.

The same event can be viewed as bad for one person but good for another…

Homework, surgery, spoiled milk, rainy day, new car, birthday, wedding…

Are they GOOD or BAD?

They can’t be labeled because it all depends on how each person views the event.

****************************************

Just remember that events themselves have no meaning. There are no “good events” or “bad events”.

It is a decision that takes place inside you. But the real question is: How do you CHANGE your reaction to an event?

Well, here’s something that will help you with that.

Larry Bilotta has recently released his new, breakthrough guide called Softhearted Woman Hard World, that “spills the beans” about exactly what you need to do if you want to improve your self-esteem and feel more confident about yourself.

This step-by-step book is the result of Larry’s trial and error over the course of 27 years, in an attempt to improve HIS self esteem and reduce the stress in his life.

This guide includes each and every method that he still uses today to keep his self-esteem intact and to keep his negative feelings “in check.”

You’ll learn everything you need to know about improving your self-esteem - Everything from getting rid of that “little voice in your head” that tells you you’re never good enough, to turning your most stressful relationships into fulfilling and lasting friendships.

You’ll learn it all, from A-To-Z!

You’ll discover how to end your self-doubt and see yourself as an important and valuable person.

If You’ve Ever Wanted To Get Rid of Those Painful Feelings and Stop Feeling Alone, Lost and Hopeless, Larry Bilotta’s FREE 7-day email course shows you how to quickly and easily eliminate your negative thoughts, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself.

It probably isn’t a big shock to say that Men and Women are different in their relationships. These differences are glaringly obvious when it comes to their differences in how they talk about their feelings.

Some differences are purely biological and there is no debate such as the fact that the Corpus Callosum (the part of the brain that connects the two brain hemispheres) is larger in women than men and because of this, women process thinking and feeling simultaneously.

This makes sense when it comes to caring for a child who is crying and needs for an adult not to ignore their feelings. It is just has important for men to have a smaller Corpus Callosum which enables them to separate feelings from thinking.

This enables men to respond fairly well in a crisis when feelings would interfere with the ability to stay cool under pressure. While this is often helpful information for my clients I have found the need to often give Women an example to illustrate this point in modern day terms.

Let’s imagine that I am in a group full of men and women, and I pick out a gentleman named Steve. I say to Steve, “I want to illustrate something to your wife so if you will indulge me with a little experiment, I’ll give you $1000 to slip into this tiny little Speedo bathing suit. In the next room there are 20 women whom I want you to dance around and make a fool of yourself in this little bathing suit.”

Now, once I show Steve the $1,000 I really don’t think I’ll have much trouble getting him to agree. He may even demand more money, but the odds are that I can probably offer him enough money to entice him into becoming a dancing machine. Steve, like most men, doesn’t take himself too seriously when it comes to his body because men, in general, are very comfortable with their bodies.

Now, let’s imagine I turned to Susan (Steve’s wife) and said to her, “Susan, here is a string bikini. I will give you $1000 if you will go next door, put this on and dance around in front of a room full of men.” Susan, like most every woman, would refuse. I could offer $2000, and she would still reply, “Not a chance!”

The odds are no matter how much money I offer, Susan will probably never take me up on my dare. The reason she will not do so is that women, in general, are “BODY MODEST.” Women are very modest about their appearance, how they present themselves, and it would mortify most women to have to present themselves in such a way.

In the same sort of context, men are “FEELINGS MODEST”. For a man to share how he feels, what is going on inside of him, is just as awkward for him as it would be for Susan in the above example to parade around in front of a group of people in a bikini.

Now, this doesn’t mean that men shouldn’t be encouraged to share their feelings or to open up and get in touch with the vulnerable side of themselves that is rarely accessed, it just means that it does not come as naturally. If a woman presses a man to share feelings, it is important that she realize that what she is comfortable with and what is familiar to her is very awkward and disjointed for a man.

I fully believe that a man needs to share and understand his feelings, but if he clams up and doesn’t know how to describe them, the most important thing for a woman to do is not to punish him. It is going to take time for him to trust you to be so vulnerable. If you shame him, he will rarely take a chance and try it again.

Bob Grant, “The Relationship Doctor” is the author of the best-selling book, “The Woman Men Adore…and Never Want to Leave.” His coaching firm has been helping women achieve the relationship of their dreams throughout the United States and World. In addition he has published a Free Report entitled “How to be Irresistibly Sexy to Men”. You may learn more by visiting him at: http://www.relationshipheadquarters.com