Empowered Women Blog

We’ve all been taught that money doesn’t buy happiness but this is the real world, and we all know how stressful it can be to worry about money!

If you’re a typical single woman, you work hard to pay bills, buy food, clothes and gas, and keep a roof over your head. You’ve gone through a lot to establish your financial identity. You deserve to be proud of yourself for achieving all of that on your own.

But out in the dating world you’re going to be meeting men who may not make as much money as you do. And I know there are some women that this is not an issue for them. So it’s especially daunting for them, when the dating ritual goes sour.

So below I listed some things to watch out for when dating a man that makes less than you do and some suggestions on how to deal with this situation:

Monitor your attitude

Many women simply refuse to date men who make less money than they do, just as some women won’t date short men, men of another race, or men with different religious beliefs. And while it makes sense to avoid hooking up with a man who’s frequently in the unemployed state, refusing to date someone based on their income really limits your dating options.

If you’re a lawyer and you meet a wonderful man who owns a small coffee shop or you’re a nurse and he’s a delivery driver, are you going to determine if he’s a good man or a man worth you dating based on the size of his paycheck?

Remember, most millionaires were dead broke before they made their fist million!

But with that being said, if you do start dating a man who makes less money than you he may have a few more issues with the situation than you do. And as a wise woman you’ll have to be sensitive to his feelings.

Understand that no matter what you see in the media nor how many men may deny it, the truth is most men have their self-esteem and identity wrapped up in how much they earn. So one of the worst things you can do to a man that your dating or in a relationship with is to emasculate him with respect to money especially out in public.

Making comments like, I wish we could come with you, but we can’t afford it said in front of a group of people will encourage your man to start looking for another woman.

Now maybe in your mind you may not be thinking that he’s less of a man (or anything else negative) because you make more money than he does, but comments like that may make him feel like your putting the slap down’ on his manhood.

Make him feel like he’s the man

Even though your man may make less money than you, you still want to make him feel like he’s the man. Go ahead and let him buy you flowers, take you to dinner, and buy you small, inexpensive gifts. And when he does, thank him as if he just bought you the world. But don’t thank him because he bought you the gift, thank him for showing you, by this gesture, that he was thinking about you.

Avoid out doing his gifts

Avoid giving him elaborate, expensive gifts, even if you can easily afford them. Later, if your dates turn into a long-term relationship, how you spend your money shouldn’t make a difference. But if you give him a big-screen TV or buy him an expensive suit while you’re in the early dating stages, the fact that he can’t do similar things for you may bruise his ego. And you know how we men are about our egos!

Remember I’m talking about a real man here. If your man is a bum and looking to feed off you then that’s a whole different ball game.

Set high goals but be realistic

Remember it’s o.k. to set high standards but make sure your standards are based on a true foundation and not these worldly ideals puffed up by society. These shall soon fade away.

Don’t miss out on an opportunity to date that great guy that works on your car, teaches at your child’s school or waits tables at your favorite restaurant. Heck, at least he has a job.

Be open-minded. There are a lot of really smart, loving, unattached guys who are attractive in non-traditional ways.

2006 Gil Bryan

Gil Bryan is a motivational speaker, teacher, trainer, and author of “Why Does He Do That? The Key to Understanding Why Men Do What They Do In Relationships”. To get a FREE preview of this book visit http://www.GilBryan.com

Do you ever feel like Wonder Woman? I have. As a woman juggling a ton of things I’ve wondered “what the heck happened to my life?”

In fact, there have been times when I wondered if I had much of a “life” at all.

You know what I mean. As a woman you play multiple roles. You’re a daughter, grand daughter, sister, niece, girlfriend, wife, business woman, gal pal, volunteer….and sometimes community leader, politician, or in the ministry. And you’re exhausted!

You want to do it all and do it all well. You don’t want to let anyone down, and yet you’re losing it. Okay, so maybe you don’t need to be checked into to a hospital, but your energy and enthusiasm is slipping, your health is waning, and you wonder if you can keep it all together.

The solution to the problem I’ve often heard is to have “work-life balance.” I understand the intent, but striving for balance hasn’t worked for me. The idea of balance is that I evenly divide up my time and energy for every area of my life, like a see-saw with a whole bunch of sides to it with equal weights.

But, my life isn’t divided up evenly, nor do I think it should be. Right now for example, to grow my business takes a better chunk of my time than, let’s say, making dinner, working out, or taking care of pets.

I say forget “balance.” Strive for sanity instead! Sanity is feeling at the end of everyday feeling internally satisfied that you used your time and energy on what’s most important to you. Here are seven secrets to getting there.

Secret #1 is Know What You Want

Be clear about who and what’s important to you. Then make choices to support your decision. If you don’t know what I want, there will always be someone who will try to determine it for you.

Secret #2 is Say “No” Without Apology

When you’re saying “no” to what you don’t want you’re saying “yes” to what you do want. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re being mean or hurting someone else. It means you’re taking care of yourself and, often, those you most care about. That’s something we should never apologize for!

Secret #3 is Focus on What’s Going Right

Focusing your attention on those things that are working and helping you feel good about yourself gives you the necessary self-esteem and staying power for dealing with difficult situations and creating sanity.

Secret #4 is Stay Away From Whiners

Life is too short and requires too much of us to be spending lots of time with people or in situations that don’t cheer us on to the best we can be and go for our dreams.

Secret #5 is Get Someone Else to Do It

You really don’t have to do it all! Get someone to do the things in your life that really can be done by someone else.

Secret #6 is Take Care of You and You and You

Take care of all of you - the physical you, the emotional you, the mental you, the social you, and the spiritual you. Taking care of yourself gives you staying power. You’re not only worth it; you are the only you you’ve got.

Secret #7 is Be Serious About Not Being So Serious

Don’t miss the fun along the way. Be playful! Laugh as much as possible and find the humor that’s begging to be discovered. The demands of your fast, full life temporarily melt away.

Mary Foley. All rights reserved.

About the Author: During a successful, demanding, rising through the ranks 10 year career with America Online Mary learned that the only way to thrive in today’s world is to be bold, positive, and courageous - bodacious! Today Mary inspires women everywhere to be bodacious in their lives, careers and businesses. You can be inspired, too! Get a free copy of Mary’s e-book “How to Be Courageously in Charge of Your Life and Lovin’ It!” at http://www.gobodacious.com !